• COMMISSION E - more good sense from Germany
• MONICA LEWINSKY - the nightmare on Pennsylvania Avenue that won't go away
• NUTRITIONISTS - national treasures, or prissybutts?
• OYSTER EXTRACT - lifts you up where you belong
• PEYOTE - It's not for everyone.
• QUINOA - America embraces the Goosefoot.
• RELIGIOUS WAR - oxymoron nonpareil
• SEAWEED - Wrap it around your Sushi In Paradise.
• TRYPTOPHAN - another testament to the crookedness and stupidity of the FDA
• UVA-URSI - It's not just for girls.
• VANILLA - Cortes finds gold in them-thar orchids.
• WALKING - "...a genius...for sauntering." ~Thoreau

Commission E

Personal from Donny

The German equivalent of our American Food and Drug Administration (FDA) is the
German Health Authority, which has established a panel of experts (known as Commission E) to study both the safety and the efficacy of herbs as medicine, and to develop standards for their production and distribution.

Isn't this an outrageously sane approach? Isn't this what most Americans want? Yet the FDA refuses even to CONSIDER such a splendid idea, because pharmaceutical companies and the AMA do not want Americans "treating themselves," God forbid. No, we've got to go on paying for the expensive toys that doctors and hospitals love; technology that distances us from health care and makes paupers of us when we get sick.
Why aren't more of us getting REALLY ANGRY about the economic stranglehold the AMA/FDA connection has on our health care? Let's face it, Naturopathic and Homeopathic physicians are not going to run for Congress; they're too busy doing actually important work. Therefore, we all need to talk to some of our representatives in government about these matters. Many of them have had personal experiences that make them sympathetic. And now is a good time to approach them, because everybody is geared up for the next major elections. Somebody call Hillary, for goodness' sake.
Most of our information on herbal products, these days, comes to us via Europe and Asia, where herbalism is not considered to be alternative health care. Many (if not all) of the most popular herbal products purchased in the United States either originate or are produced in Germany, Japan and China. So even HERBS actually cost more than they really should, because of our own, dear FDA.
Donny wants to do more than just carp, satirize and be funny. Won't you help me?

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MONICA LEWINSKY
- Is she truly great, or does she suck?
Independent Counsel Robert Ray is pressing for a new indictment of President Clinton.

It's like an episode…no, a protracted EPIC…from As The World Turns.

Readers with a little age on you, or at least half a brain, will recall that in years past this young woman would not have been celebrated. A very few years ago she simply would have been dismissed as a social-climbing w****, and that would have been that. Please understand that I am only recalling the social attitudes of our country; Donny is Politically Incorrect, but not cruel or judgmental.

These days, however, the public is insatiable in its desire for scandal and sensationalized news of scandals. The media are in business to sell airtime and print space, so they give you what you want. Monica Lewinsky has become a celebrity, because the c*** that she s***** was hanging (limply) on the President of the United States of America. Have a cigar.
So we went crazy for Monica Lewinsky. We want to know her opinions, now, the way we want to know what rock stars and actors think, if ever. Meanwhile, the women and children of Iraq are starving and have no medicine, because our beloved President (the one with the limp d***) does not have the courage to end sanctions against that country. No, indeed. Mr. Clinton is more interested in his B****, you see, and must prove that they are larger than Saddam Hussein's.
Saddam Hussein, you will recall, is the evil bastard that George Bush would not allow to be killed or displaced in his famous Gulf War, because of secret agreements made with billionaire Arabs.
Are you one of those Americans who still clings to the notion that we are the greatest nation in the history of the Universe? Donny hastens to inform you that we are simply the strongest and the richest, and that these appellations are transitory. Greatness is not achieved with strength and riches alone.
Will you spend the rest of your life prideful of being an American just because we are rich and strong? Stephen Spender, one of our former poets laureate, wrote "I Think Continually of Those Who Were Truly Great." Speaking just for myself, I would like to be proud of being an American because we are Truly Great.
America can never be Truly Great so long as we spend our time scrambling for news about Monica Lewinsky and such. It is really up to you, my dears. It is really up to you whether America will be Truly Great. See Religious War.
By the way, I wish Monica Lewinsky the best. God loves her, and I love her. I have done much worse things than she has; that is, if we know the whole story.

CLOSURE

Clinton Avoids Indictment in Lewinsky Case

January 19, 2001 5:38 pm EST
By Steve Holland
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - President Clinton cut a deal on his last full day in office on Friday to escape criminal indictment in the Monica Lewinsky scandal, admitting he gave "evasive and misleading" testimony about the sexual affair that nearly cost him the presidency.
In return, independent prosecutor Robert Ray concluded his investigation of whether Clinton committed perjury in the Lewinsky case and dropped any plans to indict him after Clinton leaves office on Saturday.
As part of the deal Clinton accepted a five-year suspension of his license to practice law in Arkansas and paid a $25,000 fine.

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NUTRITIONISTS

- Color me "Smarter Than You," and call me "Doctor."
"Nutritionist" is not a professional title; without documentation, Donny fancies himself a Nutritionist Plus. Actually, I prefer the title Consultant in Drugless Health, Nutritional Therapy, Philosophy, Sex, Art, Literature, Music, Humor and Blackjack. Should I become licensed, my business cards would read "Solution Consultant."

Anyone may call himself/herself a Nutritionist. This really pisses off professional, Certified Nutritionists with Ph.D.'s who look down on Dieticians, even, let alone people like Donny. In a way you can't blame them, because they put in a lot of hours and spent a lot of money for those embossed scraps of paper which they display so proudly.

You are advised that knowledge and competence are not scraps of paper. You can't frame knowledge and competence and hang them on your Ego Wall for others to admire.

Some Nutritionists are knowledgeable, competent, and a pleasure to know; some are not. Some are trained professionals; some (Donny included) are not. I have encountered trained professionals with a very bureaucratic mindset; they were full of memorized words, charts and folderol and were addicted to rules and exams, worshiping the printed word.

I am acquainted with two Nutritionists with doctorates who say that they originally intended to become medical doctors. Whether they later chose to become Nutritionists or settled for becoming Nutritionists I can't say, and don't care to know. What I do know is that they are dull, humorless, and choose to be called "Doctor."

You are urged to seek out therapists who are imaginative, inventive, humorous, sympathetic to individual differences in people, willing to try new strategies, and unimpressed with titles.

Some Nutritionists are elitists, like doctors, and believe that ordinary people cannot ascend to their exalted plane of superior knowledge. Beware of Nutritionists with Ph.D.s who introduce themselves as "Dr. Doe," instead of saying, "Hi; I'm Jane Doe."

If you are the Meal Planner for your family and are lovingly concerned with what's IN the food your family eats, you are a Nutritionist. Good Health to you and yours, and God Bless.

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OYSTER EXTRACT
- helps you get up in the morning (or whenever)

SECOND-HONEYMOONERS TAKE NOTE: Oysters are INCREDIBLY RICH IN ZINC, so everything you ever heard about them is true. I personally hate Oysters; I have hated every Oyster I have ever encountered; I think Oysters are disgusting. I'd just as soon eat OKRA.
However, Oyster Extract is interesting. And at my age a fellow's got to have a little extra Zinc, just to keep things on the up and up (if you catch my drift). See Zinc.
By the way, I use the word "disgusting" pretty often, and here's an interesting linguistic nugget that may have passed by you, unnoticed.
In English, you can't be "gusted" - you can only be DISgusted in English. You have to switch to Spanish to get gusted.
"Mucho gusto" means "I'm very gusted to meet you," and "me gusto trabajar afuera" means "I like to work outside."
These two phrases will be invaluable to you if you are going to Honduras any time soon.

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PEYOTE
- God made it, but we outlawed it.

Peyote (Lophophora williamsii) is a spineless, dome-shaped cactus native to Mexico and the American Southwest. Some of our Senators and Representatives are also spineless and dome-shaped. Others, though spineless, are more crooked than dome-shaped. Unlike any of them, however, Peyote produces "buttons" that are chewed (fresh or dry) as a powerful hallucinogenic by certain Native Americans and others. See Mescaline.
 
"Peyote" is American Spanish, from the Aztec Nahuatl Peyotl.



Hallucinogenic experiences with Peyote are explored extensively in early books by the American social anthropologist Carlos Castaneda, who departed this life for his Definitive Journey, in 1998. Click on the image to order from Amazon.com, $11.20.

WARNING: BEING IN POSSESSION OF PEYOTE OR ITS ALKALOID, MESCALINE, IS ILLEGAL, for no good reason. Which begs this perennial question from the League of Independent Consciousness Expanders (LICE): why are cigarettes and whiskey legal, when it is well-known that both are addictive and dangerous to your health? Well, that's not a health issue, honey. That's a tax money and vote-protecting issue. It need not make sense, because it is political. See?

The War On Drugs continues to be the most absurd cash drain in U.S. history, as we continue to pour millions down this rat hole, and as we continue to incarcerate non-violent drug-users (especially if they are Black or Brown). Nicotine addicts and alcoholics are not arrested and jailed, but we incarcerate pot-smokers and hallucinogen-users by the carload. In your heart of hearts, you know it makes no sense.



Drug arrests are a favorite tool of chauvinist police agencies and their masters in Washington, for silencing political activists who are strongly anti-establishment. Drug police and the IRS are the most powerful tools used by incumbent, entrenched politicians. If this is news to you, you are mighty young, or mighty dumb. I'm a nice guy, a normal guy, and I've known these things for more than thirty years. I speak truly. Of course, it's been going on for a long time:
"The use of the Herb or Root called Peyote. . . is a superstitious action and reproved as opposed to the purity and sincerity of our Holy Catholic Faith, being so that this said herb, nor any other cannot possess the virtue and natural efficacy attributed to it for said effects, nor to cause the images, phantasms and representations on which are founded said divinations, and that in these one sees notoriously the suggestion and assistance of the devil, author of this abuse." ~Spanish Inquisitors against heresy, depravity and apostasy, Mexico City, 1620

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QUINOA
- Mother Grain of the Incas
photo courtesy White Mountain Farm, Inc.

Quinoa, Chenopodium quinoa, is a goosefoot weed native to the Andes and cultivated for its edible seeds, which are also ground into flour. It was a staple food of indigenous Andean tribes in pre-Columbian times, revered by the Incas (called Mother Grain).
A part of the plans of conquistadores in subjugating South America, was the destruction of Quinoa. The Spanish conquerors not only literally destroyed whole crops; they also convinced the people that Quinoa was fit only for livestock. Even today, in Chile, some Indigenous Peoples are ashamed of growing and eating Quinoa. The "higher classes," who will tell you that they have "no Indian blood," believe that eating Quinoa makes you stupid.
Quinoa is a high-altitude small grain, about the size of Millet. Its cultivation continues to this very day, and not just in South America. Commercial crops are grown in the American West and in Canada. A few Health-Food stores carry Quinoa, and it can be mail-ordered from Quinoa Corporation in Los Angeles, from White Mountain Farm in Colorado, and probably elsewhere (see Donny's Mail Order / Internet suppliers).
Quinoa is easily digested and is very high in Protein, Calcium, Iron, Phosphorus and Vitamin E; it contains some of the B Vitamins. Quinoa also contains a good balance of Amino Acids...high in Lysine, Methionine and Cystine. Its taste has been described as "delicate and nutty."
"Quinoa" is American Spanish derived from Quechua Kinua.

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RELIGIOUS WARS
- Are religious leaders partnered with warring politicians?
Don't you wish that the term "Religious War" were a ridiculous oxymoron? Shouldn't it be? Yet, it is not; instead, it is a commonly used phrase that seems not to offend governments, religious leaders and corporate news media as it deeply offends you and me.
History is filled with gods at war. Roman soldiers calling themselves Christians marched through Britain murdering my ancestors in the name of God, giving nothing but trouble to those crazy Celts and nature-worshiping Druids.
"Thank God," descendants of the survivors say. "They brought Jesus to a pagan land."
"Not so," says Donny.
They came as conquerors, bringing St. Paul's invented religion with them. Even the Romans themselves had become Christians only passively, at the whim of their emperor.

"What's the Sixth Commandment?" Romans asked the Irish, who didn't know and were murdered.
Years later, when Henry VIII flipped off the Pope and invented the Church of England, residents of Ireland told him, "You're on your own, Hank. We know these people."
Cortes, with the blessings of the Bishop of Rome, murdered thousands of Sun-worshiping Aztecs, then accidentally achieved total victory with smallpox. Descendants of the survivors are now Good Catholics. By the way, even though smallpox is considered extinct as a disease, our government keeps some stored away "for study." What do you think they're studying?
Donny suggests that our government study the history of Buddhist wars of aggression (hint: there are none).
If India had kicked England's ass in 1857, Prince Charles might be a Hindu. If the Aztecs had developed a navy and immunity to smallpox, Mexicans might still be speaking Nahuatl and awaiting the arrival of Quetzlcoatl. Such is the stuff of science-fiction novels featuring Alternate Universes. The reality is, human beings continue to murder each other in the name of invented religions and gods.
Here in the very late twentieth century, major religions deny that Religious Wars exist, giving other causes for conflicts. Donny says, "Witness what is at this moment going on in Indonesia between Moslems and Christians; in the Middle East between Moslems, Jews and Christians; in the Arab world between Moslems and Moslems; in Ireland between Christians and Christians; and in other parts of the world between who knows whom and who knows what."
Where is God in a Religious War? Who has God on their side? The question is patently ridiculous, and its answer is equally obvious. If God is Love, if God is One, if God is All That There Is, then I tell you, God is present in Religious Wars only to embrace them as He embraces cancer, AIDS, bubonic plague and all His other lesser creations. As Creation continues to unfold, God has many partners. Religious War and religions themselves, are inventions of Men.

Here is an excerpt from The Vision of Peace: Faith and Hope in Northern Ireland, by Mairead Corrigan Maguire: "It is not enough to refuse to kill. God's gift of love opens our hearts to see that the real enemies of humankind are disease, hunger, homelessness, poverty, greed, torture, and war. We must work to change these injustices." Click on the blue title to order from Amazon.com, $11.20.
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SEAWEED
- Have some with your soyburger in paradise.

Numerous Marine Algae, Kelp, Rockweed and Gulfweed are known collectively as Seaweed. These edible Sea Vegetables are high in antioxidants, fiber, Iron, Magnesium and Potassium. Powdered Kelp is a good salt substitute. Some Sea Vegetables are roasted and crumbled into soups and vegetable dishes. Some are cooked, as you would prepare any Greens.
Various kinds of Seaweed are thought to be antibacterial and anticoagulant, to heal ulcers and boost the immune system, to lower blood pressure and cholesterol, and to prevent strokes and cancer. These are credible and unopposed claims!
Japanese people (especially the ones who live in Japan) are said to be healthier by far than North Americans, even though they are just as stressed out. Breast cancer is 85% higher in the U.S. than in Japan. Do you suppose it is the Japanese genes? I think it is the Japanese greens…and browns; that is, Seaweed.
Japanese cuisine stresses vegetables, miso, sushi, and various Sea Vegetables. Do you see a connection between Japanese health and Japanese diet? See Kelp, Wakame, Kombu, Nori, and Dulse.

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TRYPTOPHAN
- your FDA at work…opinions for sale to the highest bidder
An essential amino acid, Tryptophan is obtained naturally from beans, legumes, peas, peanuts, nuts, seeds and whole grain products. It is the precursor to the neurotransmitter Serotonin, which is a natural mood elevator, pain reliever and sedative. The Food and Drug Administration banned all Tryptophan supplements in 1990, and I'll tell you why.
Available over-the-counter throughout the 70s and the 80s, L-Tryptophan was used by millions of Americans as a sleep aid and mood elevator, and for other problems associated with Serotonin deficiency.
In 1989, a sudden outbreak of an immune disease that is caused by biological toxins led to 38 deaths. In Atlanta, the Center for Disease Control traced this outbreak of Eosinophilia Myalgia Syndrome (EMS) to Tryptophan, and the FDA quickly put in place a temporary ban on the sale of these supplements, pending further investigation.
So far, this story is simply a tragedy, and the action of the FDA is perfectly justified. But there's more; as Paul Harvey might say, there's a Page Two.
Investigators quickly determined that the Tryptophan to which the EMS outbreak was tied had been produced by Showa Denko, the world's largest manufacturer of this supplement at that time. They were certain that inferior production methods leading to contamination by the substance Peak X were to blame, and that only the Showa Denko Tryptophan was contaminated.
Despite the investigators' reports, on March 22, 1990, the FDA banned all Tryptophan completely and forever, an action that was unprecedented and mystifying. Retailers and consumers alike were stunned.
Now, here's the rest of the story. Four days later, on March 26, 1990, the cover of Newsweek featured a huge capsule and this announcement: "Prozac: A Breakthrough Drug For Depression." Can anyone believe that there was no connection between the banning of Tryptophan and the approval of Prozac?
Of all the sleazy FDA stories I have related to you (and will relate to you in the future), this one is certainly the sleaziest.
Since 1995, American compounding pharmacists have been ignoring the FDA ban on Tryptophan and have been filling prescriptions for both Tryptophan and 5-HTP. Contact the Cognitive Enhancement Research Institute; CERI publishes Smart Drug News and maintains an up-to-date resources listing, a directory of mail-order sources, compounding pharmacies, AIDS drug-buyers' clubs, a list of Smart Drugs experts, and FDA policy on mail importations.

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UVA-URSI (Bearberry)
- Put THAT in your peace pipe, pal.

Although this antiseptic, astringent, diuretic ground-cover herb is best known for its help with "female problems," it is not gender-specific. A North American and Eurasian shrub (Arctostaphylos uva-ursi) famous in China (where herbalists still get a lot of respect) as a treatment for incontinence, Uva-Ursi also is used to treat Kidney infections, Kidney stones, cystitis, Uterine and Vaginal problems, diabetes, nephritis, water retention, Bladder problems and Prostate problems. It has been used to reduce bleeding after childbirth, and to help shrink the Womb.
Uva-Ursi contains Arbutin, a precursor to Hydroquinone, which is a potent antiseptic that will cure urinary tract infections. The herb also contains Allantoin, which hastens healing by stimulating the growth of new cells.
Uva-Ursi is also an ingredient in Native American peace pipe mixtures, valued as a calmative (that's what they smoke in those things?). The berries are used in necklaces and rattles.
You may be reading about Uva-Ursi for the first time, here, but there's nothing new about it. Chinese and Native American herbalists have used it for centuries. You may think at first glance that my calling it both diuretic and a treatment for incontinence are at odds. Although it does stimulate urination, it is also powerfully ASTRINGENT, you see?
Use a tincture of Uva-Ursi for Urinary Tract infections (also Buchu), or drink two or three cups of Uva-Ursi Tea per day. Uva-Ursi is also known as Kinnikinnick.
Uva-Ursi is approved as an over-the-counter drug in France, Germany and the United Kingdom. It is listed in the Japanese Pharmacopoeia.
NOTE: IF YOU ARE DRINKING LOTS OF CRANBERRY JUICE OR CITRUS FOR ANY KIND OF BLADDER OR KIDNEY PROBLEM, DISCONTINUE THOSE WHEN USING UVA-URSI. Uva-Ursi "prefers" an alkaline environment, to do its best work. Take this herb along with food, as it can cause stomach upset.
CAUTION: HIGH DOSES OF UVA-URSI CAUSE NAUSEA. DO NOT USE UVA-URSI IF YOUR KIDNEYS ARE DAMAGED. DO NOT USE THIS HERB FOR UNINTERRUPTED LONG PERIODS OF TIME. DO NOT CONFUSE BEARBERRY WITH BARBERRY OR BAYBERRY.

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VANILLA
- "You brought me beans?" said Queen Isabella. "BEANS?"

A tropical vine of the Orchid Family, Vanilla planifolia is native to southern Mexico; it can grow to lengths of thirty to fifty feet. All members of the highly-evolved Orchid Family are intensely interesting; their popularity with Orchid Freaks never wanes. The Vanilla Orchid is one of the most interesting; Orchid Royalty, you might say.
Vanilla is the only orchid with edible fruit. This commodity is the reason that Vanilla has not died out, and I'll tell you why. In nature, the tiny hummingbird and the tiny bee which used to pollinate this flower, are now extinct. Therefore, because humans value the Vanilla Bean, the plant is hand-pollinated. Otherwise, it would have joined its tiny bird and bee friends in extinction, long ago.
This fact, plus the seven-month maturation period for the beanpod, plus the subsequent, additional six-month curing and fermentation periods, make the price of natural Vanilla Extract relatively (and understandably) high. Here's another Interesting Vanilla Fact: Vanilla Orchids grown more than twenty degrees away from the equator will flower, but will not produce beanpods.
The cured seedpods ultimately yield Vanilla Extract, with which we are all familiar. Besides Mexico, Vanilla-producing countries now include Madagascar, Reunión, Comores, Java and Tahiti.
Although my favorite potpourri oils are Rose and Sandalwood, Jonnie's one favorite is Vanilla. I think she likes it because, like a rainy day, Vanilla aroma makes us mellow and cuddle-buggy. Too much of it gives me a headache, though.
The Aztecs drank Xoco-Latl, made from Cocoa and Vanilla. Vanilla milkshakes made with extra, real Vanilla syrup (Donny's favorite), would have made Montezuma swoon.
Hernán Cortés ripped off Vanilla from the Azteca in the name of Spain and Holy Mother Church, and while he was at it, he just stole the whole damn country. He enslaved all the inhabitants of this empire who survived smallpox (his secret weapon), and priests of the indescribably arrogant Catholic Church destroyed all Aztec records ("books," you might say) and as many monuments as they could find.
Religious fanaticism, military superiority, greed and chicanery, all in God's name, wiped out the entire culture and civilization of this enlightened race. It has been, and is ever, so. But we got Vanilla, by God. See Religious Wars.

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WALKING
- no destination; just...walking

"I have met but one or two persons in the course of my life who understood the art of walking; that is, the art of taking walks, who had a genius, so to speak, for sauntering." ~Henry David Thoreau (from the essay Walking).
"Walking meditation is really to enjoy the walking...walking not in order to arrive, just for walking." ~Thich Nhat Hanh
Simply put, there is nothing better for you, physically, than Walking. It is even better for you than sex, but just barely.
Walking in the woods is best of all, or if you live someplace like New York City, in a park. Walking in the city can sometimes provide you with the additional exercise of defending yourself from muggers.

Tags: COMMISSION E, MONICA LEWINSKY, NUTRITIONISTS, OYSTER EXTRACT, PEYOTE, QUINOA, RELIGIOUS WAR, SEAWEED, TRYPTOPHAN, UVA-URSI, VANILLA, WALKING