Number Nine ©September, 2000 ••••••• Don Harthcock, Editor OpinionSoup may contain language and topics unsuitable for children.
"May you live all the days of your life!" ~ Jonathan Swift
LOVE - Personal from Donny
ALOE - for warts, bad breath and smelly feet
BUCKWHEAT - It's Otay!
CILANTRO - for fartless beans
DIOECIOUS/MONOECIOUS - Is 'em boys or is 'em gurls? Yuk! Yuk!
ENGLISH HOLLY - Tree/Hedge
FAGGOTS - Caution: contains references to Jerry Falwell
GAS PLANT - the Biblical Burning Bush of Moses?
HONEYSUCKLE - Detoxify your hummingbirds!
MANGANESE - keeps those sex hormones pumping
None of the statements made in this publication have been evaluated by the FDA, nor is that likely ever to happen. This publication is not meant to be used to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. Since this publication is not intended to be diagnostic or prescriptive, the authors assume no responsibility for any adverse reactions resulting from the use of any information contained in it.
Personal from Donny
John Lennon said, "All You Need Is Love."
The Bible advises, "Love Thy Neighbor As Thyself."
Chapter 13 of I Corinthians is often called "The Love Chapter." You have probably heard it read at many weddings; I used this chapter at the weddings of my nephew Paul (and Yvonne), my nephew Ricky (and Bettye), and my son Brian (and Heather). It was written by St. Paul to the early Christian Church at Corinth, and it is basic to Pauline Christianity. Donny paraphrases freely:
"Love is always patient and kind. Are you madly jealous of the one you love? Listen to me: jealousy is restrictive, manipulative, and in direct opposition to Love. Jealousy seeks ownership; it is no part of Love. Neither is envy an ingredient in the recipe of Love. Love is not egotistical; it is not a prideful braggart. Love is not haughty; neither is Love selfish or rude. Love does not demand or whine or resort to subterfuge just to get its own way. It is not irritable; Love never flies off the handle. Holding grudges is not part of Love, which hardly even notices when others do It wrong. If you rejoice at injustice you are without Love, which rejoices whenever Truth wins out. If you love someone you will be loyal to him or her no matter what the cost. You will always believe in the one you really love, always expect the best of the one you really love, and always stand your ground in defending the one you truly love. True Love never ends; it goes on forever."
Love is the language that is spoken where God lives. Many of us do not "believe in" God. My own beliefs are not a part of the orthodoxy of any religion. I do not perceive God as an outside Creator; neither do I picture Him (Her, It) as a human being sitting on a throne, nor do I hold with much of the claptrap invented by the Christian Church in the early centuries after Jesus' execution.
But I tell you, God does not require our belief. GOD IS. Revealed to all the creatures of the universe many times and by many Names, God is All That There Is, including especially these abstractions: Faith; Hope; Charity; Beauty; Truth; Love.
God is Love.
To love God, you must love All That There Is...all of "creation"...every thing and every person, socio-economic, tribal and geo-political barriers notwithstanding. I didn't say you have to LIKE anything or anybody, but you have to LOVE them. See the difference? This is not easy to internalize, although many people say that they understand it.
I can hear the cynical critics saying, "Well, there's nothing new about anything you're saying; we've heard all this before; who do you think you are?"
I tell you, you are correct. There is nothing new about God, and God's Love is undiminished by repetition, self-realization of sages or the passing of the ages.
Do you want to be happy? Say "YES!" Then hear me: I say, you need to
learn to love yourself as you are, just as God made you. You are unique and infinitely valuable. LIFE IS VERY, VERY SHORT and very, very precious; it makes no sense to waste any part of it worrying about any imagined shortcomings, or even real ones. There is a place for you in this world, even if you are perfect and beautiful, even if you are not. God (by any of the three thousand names) loves you, and I love you.
All You Need Is Love.
Love is the language that is spoken where God lives.
"It is really so simple...the main thing is to love your neighbor as yourself. Once you do that, you will discover at once how everything can fall into place." ~ Fëdor Mikhailovich Dostoevskij (also transliterated Fyodor Dostoyevsky)
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- another lover of sun and sand
In Florida, my wife Jonnie and I kept several Aloe plants handy, for burns and sunburn, and just because we like them. Here in Mississippi, I just realized, we have nary a one; why is that, Honey?
Aloe makes a nice potted plant for your kitchen window sill (I hope you have a window sill, or at least a window). When you're cooking and burn yourself like an idiot, just rip off a spear of this wonderful plant (it won't mind), split it open, and wipe the goopy ooze gently over your burn (first run cold water over it). If you're burned badly, GO TO THE DOCTOR.
Originally from Africa, Aloe vera (A. barbadensis) relieves sunburn, insect bites and minor cuts. Besides having an Aloe plant or two, you might want to look at all the products made with this wonderful gift of nature; Aloe is a major ingredient in dozens of products, especially skin creams. Aloe gel protects against airborne infections and fungi, reduces scarring, and speeds up cell regeneration to damaged skin.
Aloe vera is used in Traditional Chinese Medicine as a remedy for bad breath. Taken internally, it has also been shown to be antiviral, anti-inflammatory, anti-asthmatic, and a demulcent digestive aid.
Cleopatra used Aloe gel, and when that snake bit her he had to strike three times, her skin was so smooth! Of course this was very distressing to some of her servants, who were anxious to quit the premises before the arrival of the Roman army, who were notoriously indifferent to local customs.
Aloe vera is believed to have been one of the mummification ingredients of the ancient Egyptians, who called it the "Plant of Immortality."
Aloe use is documented in historical documents of the Arabians, Chinese, Egyptians, Greeks, Indians, Moroccans, Romans and Tunisians. It was part of the mixture used for anointing the body of Jesus (John 19:39).
Here's something I'll bet you didn't know: if you have an ugly or embarrassing wart, just make a paste of Castor Oil, a little Aloe vera goop and baking soda; spread it on the wart every day for three or four days, and see what happens. Actually, warts eventually go away all by themselves, but if this works, I'll take the credit. I said WART, not MOLE; don't mess around with moles.
Do you have rough, callused, SMELLY FEET? That's DISGUSTING! Try mild soap, thorough towel-drying, pumice stone, and Aloe vera.
Aloe is recognized as an over-the-counter drug in Canada, France, Germany and the United Kingdom. It was included in the now-displaced United States Pharmacopoeia.
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- not wheat, and more than a buck
(1) One of the Little Rascals (the cute little Black one with all the pigtails), Buckwheat is said to have lived in Yazoo City, Mississippi, like Willie Morris (RIP) and me. I have been unable to confirm this. I must admit, by the way, that most Yazooans will be more familiar with another native son, Jerry Clower (RIP), than with me or Willie. Or Buckwheat. ESPECIALLY Buckwheat.
(2) An annual northeast Asian native (Fagopyrum esculentum, F. sagittatum), Buckwheat has small, seed-like, triangular fruits, eaten whole or ground into flour. Unroasted Buckwheat is called Kasha (a Russian word - I once taught
English to Russian Jewish emigres in Miami Beach, which is where I learned of Kasha). Buckwheat Tea contains Rutin, which can ease chronic venous insufficiency (CVI).
Buckwheat is grown in the northern U.S. and Canada. It is grown there without fertilizers (which would encourage foliage growth and decrease grain yield) and without pesticides, as this plant must be pollinated by bees.
photo courtesy weed science society
Whole groats are the whole Buckwheat grains, and unroasted is better (it can be roasted at home). Buckwheat is not Wheat, by the way; nor is it actually a cereal grain, although it is used like one. In fact, it is related to Rhubarb. Buckwheat is a rich source of B Vitamins, Vitamin E and Calcium. It contains all eight Essential Amino Acids. You may eat it as a hot cereal, and it is commonly used in stuffed cabbage, casseroles and knishes.
Buckwheat flour is used to make spaghetti and Japanese soba noodles (see there) for yakusoba. It is also excellent for bread, cereal and muffins, Buckwheat pancakes and Buckwheat waffles.
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- It smells like mice and dirty children.
The leaves of Coriandrum sativum are called Cilantro; t
he seeds are called Coriander. I know of only two plants which produce two different spices: this one and Nutmeg / Mace.
Fresh Cilantro, to Donny, smells like a combination of mice, dirty children, and bugs; I prefer dried.
photo courtesy Oregon State University
Cilantro is great in your bean dishes; it imparts wonderful flavor and reduces flatulence. It is anti-bacterial, antioxidant and anti-inflammatory.
Cilantro stops diarrhea. A weak infusion of the leaves will calm a baby with colic; stronger tea is good for adult arthritis and urinary tract infections. See Coriander.
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- Is 'em boys or is 'em girls? Yuk! Yuk!
Plant species that produce entirely separate, individual male and female plants, are said to be Dioecious (dye-o-EE-shus).
All old hippies remember the days when we were facetiously "mistaken" for women. I always pulled down my pants and got into fights when that happened. Old hippies also know that there are separate male and female Marijuana (Cannabis sativa indica) plants. I heard about it from an old lady I was helping across the street one day...she heard it at the beauty parlor.
Those of us with Ginkgo (Ginkgo biloba) trees know that these are also Dioecious, with separate male trees and female trees.
Monoecious botanicals, of course, are those with the organs / flowers of both sexes on the same plant, as in Corn and Pines.
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- I once knew a girl named English Holly...
Ilex aquifolium, a hardy evergreen tree, is very popular in the Southern U.S.A. for landscaping, although England and the American Northwest offer better, wetter climates. Sometimes growing to thirty feet but more often trimmed for hedging, English Hollies have dark green, prickly leaves and small, red or yellow fruits (berries). Some trees are monoecious; others are dioecious. It likes to grow in light shade.
Lumber from English Holly is very hard. It is popular for engraving and for making walking sticks and piano keys. An infusion of the leaves is anticatarrhal, anti-inflammatory, and antipyretic.
WARNING: IF YOU HAVE ENGLISH HOLLY TREES OR HEDGES, BE SURE TO TEACH YOUR CHILDREN THAT THE BERRIES ARE POISONOUS!
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- This is NOT about Jerry Falwell.
(1) Bundles of sticks; kindling…used in medieval times for hearth and home; later used by the Christian Church to start witch-burning fires.
(2) Certain male Homo sapiens, with emphasis on the Homo. Some say that the gay "community " itself originally embraced this name to commemorate the little-known fact that The Church also burned homosexuals, but not "at the stake." They were drenched in rancid oil and thrown at the feet of alleged witches, as faggots…to get the serious flames going. Today, there is nothing more common than gay priests. Go figure.
At the first Gay Pride Day in Miami sometime in the late 70s, which I was covering for my employer, Alive! magazine (readership approximately 99% gay), I found myself actually IN the parade, with television cameras all around. While thinking to myself, "If my mother sees this I will die," I was astonished to hear large groups of young men yelling, "We're faggots and we're proud; get used to it!" These guys were very high on Camaraderie, Courage, Adrenaline and Testosterone.
Later, after the crowd had dispersed and the cameramen had all gone home, some young redneck Cubans came roaring by, yelling, "Hey, Faggot!"
Policemen nearby smiled approvingly, and the young gay men just shook their heads and said nothing.
HEY, FAGGOT!Hey Faggot! they screamed as they drove on by
And I stood still like Mona LisaLater
I wished I'd saidThat's right! You wanna soak my duck?
But I was afraid of those guysSissy Me
I was afraid of those big guysPersonally, I revel in being thought odd or unusual. Actually, I prefer "avant-garde," because I was a Head of my time.
Gay men and women, I believe, wouldn't mind much, being called "unusual," "avant-garde," or even "odd." But in modern parlance, the appellations "Queer" and "Faggot" are so hurtful…why do you use them, if you do? How much do you really care about other people's private appetites, sexual or otherwise? What's it to you, really?
"Where did all these QUEERS come from, all of a sudden?" one of my nephews asked me, the other day. "There's lots more of 'em now than there ever was, before."
"Closets," I told him.
"Moses put them all in closets thousands of years ago, but the locks have rusted," I continued, to his blank stare.
"Moses," he contemplated. "Don't he run the NRA?"
Fundamentalist religions have taught you to despise gay people, which is just more arrogant hypocrisy and raw prejudice that has nothing to do with God or the Bible. Your ministers tell you that the Scriptures declare homosexuality to be an abomination to God, but in fact, the word "homosexual" does not appear in the Bible. The abomination spoken of is the turning away from ritual purity, and homosexual practices were deemed abominable (in Genesis) only because that's what the Gentiles did.
Gay or not, if the "religious" slant on sexuality is a concern to you, please read
The Good Book: Reading the Bible with Mind and Heart by Peter J. Gomes, preacher to Harvard University (William Morrow & Co., New York, 1996). OpinionSoup strongly embraces the beliefs of Peter Gomes and acknowledges his influence (he may not be delighted to hear this news). Click on the blue to get it from Barnes & Noble: paperback about $12; hard cover is $25.
Homosexuality was not an issue with the ancient Hebrews. In fact, it was not even a matter of consequence to that famous woman-hater Paul of Tarsus (St. Paul, father of Pauline Christianity).
The issue was purity. The issue was heterosexual Jewish people committing homosexual acts like the Gentiles, thereby forsaking ritual purity. It was equated with having sex during menstruation, an act which, to my knowledge, has not gotten anybody killed or prevented them from renting houses or adopting children.
One of the "homosexual" things that really DID piss off the Jews, was the proliferation of male prostitutes at the temples of the Canaanite god Molech. Even then, it was the worship of Molech that had them pissed off, actually. There is no evidence that they were upset about men lusting for boy booty, but like all "religious" politicians, they grasped every issue.
Most so-called Christians have no idea how much their Word of God has been tailored to fit contemporary ideas, throughout its history. Not until the time of Augustine did Christians learn to be ashamed for sexual lust, and not until Thomas Aquinas arrived was homosexuality specifically proscribed. Fundamentalist Christians who cling to "Saint" Thomas' interpretation of Scripture are guilty of the sin of idolatry, not to mention rabid prejudice and hatred.
The ancient Jews did not hate homosexuals. They did not rate homosexual acts as being any more sinful than "committing" adultery, getting a tattoo, eating pork or touching dead people. To these folks, the most serious sexual abomination was a man having sex with one of his father's wives. Then came the Christians. Then came The Church.
Church politicians invented the hatred of homosexuals, an abominable prejudice born of guilt (Jews possess the original patent on Guilt, later updated by Catholics). Perhaps this was The Church's prescription for curbing sex in the monasteries…it hasn't worked very well. Perhaps it was aimed at muzzling priestly pedophilia…that hasn't worked either; ask any former altar boy.
My old friend Bob Altman (Uncle Dirty, the comedian; not Robert Altman, the producer) used to have a routine about contemporary, gay Jews. Jewish mothers never know their sons are gay, he said.
"That Norman! 39 years old, and still not married! And he's such a NICE boy…always bringing home some young man who doesn't have anyplace to stay!"
Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson would tell you that Sodom was destroyed because of homosexuality, but that would be Ignorance talking. They haven't read their Bibles enough. The Sodomites who wanted to "know" Lot's visitors (angels from God) were not responsible for the destruction of the city; God had ALREADY sent the angels to tell Lot that Sodom was to be destroyed, had He not? And please, let's not lose sight of the fact that we are discussing legend and self-serving mythology when we discuss the Bible account of Lot and Sodom. The Bible is not noted for factual reporting.
Read your New Testament thoroughly and you will discover that Jesus thought Sodom was destroyed because it was wicked and inhospitable. Jesus never mentioned homosexuality; he was not the least bit interested in such things, that we know about. Then again, what do we really KNOW about him, at all? Jesus' failed ministry was concerned exclusively with the Jews of his locale and his belief in the incoming Kingdom of God, although later revisionists used him shamelessly to create a religion.
And as for Lot, going back to Sodom for a moment; he offered the mob his own daughters! Wasn't that cute? Is that how we should act? After all, IT'S IN THE BIBLE! Apparently there was nothing abominable about it, because Lot was spared. His wife, however, was turned into a pillar of salt, merely for "looking back." The Bible is a real hoot.
Rev. Donny believes what scientists believe: that Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed by volcanoes…random acts of nature which religious politicians seized upon to manipulate the public. Ungodly, self-appointed spokespersons for God are nothing new, you see. "Oh, but God made the volcanoes, didn't he?" a relative recently countered. No, Donny answers, God did not make the volcanoes. The Mystery that we call God made the Universe, and then He split. Did God make Lee Harvey Oswald? Did God make Hurricane Camille? Did God make the mosquito that just bit me? If you are one who recites such catechisms and lives your life by them, Donny says WAKE UP!
The modern version of the Sodom and Gomorrah story is the claim that AIDS is God's punishment on gay people.
Evangelists pick and choose what they preach from Scripture; apparently the only criterion is, it's got to fit their own modern prejudices. The Scriptures EMBRACE witchcraft, murder and slavery, by the way. Fag-bashers pick and choose what they preach from Scripture.
God knows that homosexuality has existed in both sexes, in all cultures, in all nations, since the beginning of time. Think about that. Can anything that has always existed be abnormal or unnatural? No, it cannot. It can be called Unnatural, or Abominable, as a moral judgment, but this is an invention of Man. God knows that homosexuality is both normal and natural.
You keep hearing that gay people have chosen to be homosexual, but again I say, that is Ignorance talking. That's a stupid Church lie. Gay people can indeed choose to BE who they ARE, or they can choose to hide and be miserable. But they don't choose to be gay; they are born gay and later discover that they are gay. It's something like being born left-handed, a statement that should win me lots of new friends.
I know that what I am saying will be "controversial" out in the provinces, and I know that what I'm saying is true. So let me say it again, just to piss off all the right people: HOMOSEXUALITY IS BOTH NORMAL AND NATURAL. If this were not so, the statistical occurrence of homosexuality would not be so constant. Still, we have "experts" who dedicate their lives to the study of the "causes" of homosexuality. Oh well, it's a job.
Heterosexuality is not the "right" and "natural" sexuality; it is the DOMINANT sexuality.
Just as lynch-mobs of old murdered Blacks because they feared and hated them, so do fag-bashers fear and hate homosexuals.
You have nothing to fear from homosexuals; leave them alone. They do not "recruit" youngsters, and they are less likely to molest your children than your own heterosexual relatives are. You're not going to "turn gay" from hanging around fairies. You're either gay or you're not. Gay men and women are not some horror to be feared; they are your brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles and cousins.
Chastity Bono is not a pariah, is she? You personally know some gay women who are OK, don't you? Wasn't Tchaikovsky a gay man who struggled with the fact of his homosexuality, unacceptable to him because of public opinion, all of his life? Don't you know at least one gay man whom you like and respect?
Do not believe great assholes like Jerry Falwell; his church has not "cured" any gay people, as he frequently, arrogantly and ignorantly claims. Homosexuality is not an illness; therefore, it cannot be "cured."
Idiot and hypocrite that he is, Falwell (and others) have tried to convince us that AIDS was brought to us BY gay people, since they were the first "group" to be affected by the virus. It was inflicted upon them as punishment from God, this Tartuffe would have you believe. Yes, indeed…Baptists in Lynchburg, Virginia, know the mind of God! I'm so sure!
In fact, the African virus that causes AIDS was first spread simply by the vagaries of international travel.
Maybe Falwell can cure Black people and make them White; what do you think? After all, didn't Blacks bring Sickle Cell Anemia on us, and isn't that God's punishment on them for being Black? Didn't God send the Spanish conquerors to infect the Aztecs with smallpox, because they were heathens? No, wait…that was the Pope who did that.
You are probably asking yourself, "What does Donny think about Dr. Laura?"
I don't care much for Dr. Laura, and I'll tell you why. She is ignorant. She uses the title "Dr." to indicate that her opinions are scientific, which they are not. The Ph.D. that she holds is in physiology, and it did not require any expertise in homosexuality. Good thing it didn't, because the woman is without knowledge. When I find out who awarded her a Ph.D. I will let you know. At the moment I suspect that it may have been JFU (Jerry Falwell University).
If you don't want your children to be gay because you don't want them to have difficult lives and you do want lots of little grandchildren, well, fine…what's wrong with wanting that? I find nothing wrong with that; I am personally DELIGHTED that my only child is married and (so far) has given me one grandchild (with one or two more planned, I am hoping). But if your son or daughter IS gay, don't persecute him or hassle her because of who and what they ARE. By the way, homosexuals are not infertile.
Religious leaders who promote fag-bashing are false prophets and tools of Evil. I say, if you don't like homosexuals or homosexuality, leave them and it alone. That's it, and that's all. You have no right to persecute others or to tell them they are unfit, just because they are part of a currently unpopular minority. Your obligation is to love people as they are, just the way God made them.
Now comes the hard part: even Jerry Falwell deserves your love (but not your like). Even Jerry Falwell is a child of God, errant though his big fat ass may be.
Every time I see Falwell on Geraldo's CNN program (one of his favorite self-serving pulpits), I fantasize that he and Rush Limbaugh will one day announce that they have come out of their closets and gotten married. They'd make such a lovely couple, wouldn't they? They could dance around with Richard Simmons and shake their fat little fannies and clap their hands and wear tights.
ATTORNEYS FOR JERRY FALWELL AND RUSH LIMBAUGH TAKE NOTE: The preceding paragraph is a fantasy. I have no knowledge of latent homosexuality in either of these people; likewise, I know nothing of their dancing ability. I'm pretty sure they have fat fannies, though.
ATTORNEYS FOR RICHARD SIMMONS TAKE NOTE: I have no knowledge of the sexuality of Mr. Richard Simmons, nor do I give a flying ****.
ATTORNEYS FOR HOMOSEXUALS ET AL TAKE NOTE: I have no knowledge that homosexual persons en toto cavort, shake their fannies, clap their hands or wear tights. In fact, I have known straight people who did all those things often. Relax, I'm on your side.
My nephew advises me that people will now believe that Donny is gay or bi, or at the very least, kinky. Here is my response: I am married to a female human being. Jonnie and I have been married for twelve years. During that time, I have not slept with, or had sex with, any other person. My sex life prior to September 17, 1988, holds many secrets. I was married once before, and I have a son and a grandson. Have I ever been in love with, or had sex with, another male? It's possible. My first wife, Sue, who is still my good friend, often accused me of being a "closet heterosexual."
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GAS PLANT (Burning Bush, Dittany, Fraxinella)
- "Come on baby; light my fire." ~José Feliciano
Dictamnus albus is a hardy perennial, a Eurasian native with white, blue or red flowers and very fragrant foliage, smelling of Oranges.
One of the most interesting and unique of all plants, D. albus in hot, dry weather emits a flammable vapor that actually can be ignited. Is this plant the same Biblical Burning Bush to which Moses referred? I don't know, but if I see one I'm taking off my shoes, I can tell you.
Leaves of the Gas Plant can be infused for an herbal tea, but strong doses can be toxic, so why would anyone do that? A tincture of the leaves and flowers has been used topically for rheumatic pain.
CAUTION: Do not plant Burning Bush near your barbecue pit.
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- Like Kudzu in many ways, but prettier.
Lonicera periclymenum, L. japonica. These extremely invasive Asian plants were brought to America in the early 1800's as erosion-controlling ground cover plants.
As herbal medicine, Honeysuckle Flowers are alterative, antipyretic, antispasmodic, expectorant and laxative. Not often recommended in Western Herbalism, Honeysuckle Flower is an ingredient in many Chinese detoxifying remedies. As far as I know, it is always used in combination with other herbs.
Pulling the stamens down through the lower trunks of Honeysuckle Flowers and sipping the sweet nectar, was one of the many joys of my country childhood. I competed fiercely with the hummingbirds for this privilege. Your children may do the same, but be sure that they know this: HONEYSUCKLE BERRIES ARE TOXIC, CAUSING VOMITING.
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- nourishes the nerves and brain
Manganese is an Antioxidant Mineral necessary for normal skeletal development. It is also needed for protein, carbohydrate and fat production, and it helps in blood clotting.
Manganese helps maintain sex hormone production and nourishes the nerves and brain. Manganese supplements are said to be useful for lower back pain.
Low levels of this Mineral can lead to hypertension, nervous disorders, joint pain and heart problems. Available naturally in avocado, bone meal, brewer's yeast, dried peas and beans, egg yolks, hazelnuts, pecans, seaweed, sunflower seeds, wheat germ and whole-grain cereals, Manganese is most effective with Vitamins B, E, and Calcium.
OpinionSoup is published by Don Harthcock. OS#9 ©September, 2000, Don Harthcock & Brian McLeod. Reproduction of any part of this copyrighted publication for commercial purposes is prohibited. Taping to refrigerators, posting on bulletin boards or emailing to friends is cool.
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