It Could Be Anything!
OpinionSoup may contain language and topics unsuitable for children.
"Even a thought, even a possibility, can shatter us and transform us." ~Friedrich Nietzsche
IN THIS ISSUE:
PUBLIC EDUCATION - How well can your children read and write?
BLACKBERRY - Ramble in the Bramble.
BLACK WALNUT - Native American medicinal treasure
CHERRY, BLACK CHERRY - Got gout? Drink Cherry Juice!
DULSE - from the bountiful sea, today's futuristic food
KOMBU, KOMBUCHA - unrelated, not the same, not even close
LEMON BALM Tea will put you to sleep quicker than a Danielle Steele novel.
MESCALINE - Let's take a trip across time and space, to the 70's and beyond.
NORI - more treasure from the sea
PEACH - Eat A Peach!
VIAGRA® - Who needs it?
WAKAME - Viva-Natural
BACK TO HOMEPAGE
The Food and Drug Administration has not evaluated any of the statements made in this publication, nor is that likely ever to happen. This publication is not meant to be used to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. Since this publication is not intended to be diagnostic or prescriptive, the authors assume no responsibility for any adverse reactions resulting from the use of any information contained in it.
Public Education
Personal From Donny
Since Richard (I Am Not A Crook) Nixon and his pal Spiro (Confirmed Crook) Agnew first began decrying intellectuals as effete snobs, public education in America has been in a protracted nosedive. Nixon was the first and only American President ever to praise and kiss the asses of the Silent Majority, the Average American Citizen, and the "C" Student...all illusory groups which his speechwriters INVENTED as his voter base, and to which people still imagine that they belong.
You should know that IT IS IN THE BEST INTEREST OF INCUMBENT POLITICIANS (1) to keep our schools dumbed down, lowering standards in order to please certain (voting) groups of people who are deemed disadvantaged, and (2) to retain inept teachers and administrators who belong to unions that promise to deliver votes. These are not debatable matters of National Policy, my friends; these are the sleazy machinations of career politicians, who are directly responsible for the decline of Education In America.
Donny is not an isolationist, but I believe that our new President (whoever that may turn out to be), and all Presidents to come, should give at least as much attention to American Education as is being given to Middle Eastern and European despotism. We have spent hundreds of millions of dollars on military adventures in the Middle East because of our government's obsequious, fawning attitude toward pro-Western oil merchants, and now we are spending more millions in Europe because it is good for business. Long live Eurodollars and International Banking!
Meanwhile, American children (and many of their parents) can't spell or pronounce "Iraq," don't know Kosovo from Kokomo, and can't even find their own home states on a map!
The sad, simple fact is, our public education system used to be among the best in the world, and now it is not. As our interest in our children's schoolwork wanes; as our addictions to television and materialism continue to soar, so do the aspirations and curiosity of our younger citizens continue to plummet.
Did you know that the Number One and ONLY criterion for social success, with both junior-high and high-school teenagers these days, is CLOTHES? Alright now, OK, I wasn't born on Mars; you had to have at least one Gant shirt and penny loafers when I was a teen, and my wife remembers that she had to have Capezzios in every color or she would die. And, my son Brian would wear only Edwin jeans, at $50 a pop (fifteen years ago). BUT...fashion being the only measure of worth, reaching down now even to the grammar school level? MY GOD, parents, WAKE UP!
At one time I thought school uniforms would actually solve the disruptive problem of disparity of dress among students, but I was naive. School uniforms led to the creation of a new industry: Designer School Uniforms (God Bless America)! If it weren't for a steady stream of ambitious immigrants who are focused on Family and Education, there might not be anything but "C" students in our country.
Every year since its inception nine years ago, Donny has been the moderator of the Holmes Community College Scholars Bowl, a double-elimination tournament of scholars from twenty or so area high schools, both public and private. Consistently, the scholars' weaknesses are English and Literature. Why is that? The principal reasons are that teachers are not guiding them to love reading or requiring that they read and write papers a great deal, as my generation was required to do. Authors and book-sellers know that young people are not into reading.
Where lies the students' greatest strength? Math. Nothing wrong with Math; I love Math
and revere Math. However, the latest trend in education seems to be, emphasizing whatever discipline leads to the most popular jobs. Math degrees and Computer Science degrees are both Top Drawer in industry these days, and teachers seem to be embracing only this area of education. So our schools are now Trade Schools? What has happened to Readin', Writin' & 'Rithmatic? What has happened to the notion of a Core Curriculum?
Donny has stated an opinion elsewhere that is certain to be unpopular; I will state it again, here. Let there be no doubt of my strong opinion on this matter: the biggest problems with public education today, are teachers, school administrators, unions, psychologists, and legislators who will say and do anything for votes.
When I was a child, one of the strongest adult put-downs was saying that some kid "thinks he's smarter than the teacher." Teachers were held in high esteem (I never understood it), and students who were original thinkers or daydreamers were laughed at or ostracized, unless their parents were rich enough to transfer them to a really good school.
I kept quiet about that "thinks he's smarter than the teacher" idiocy or pretended to agree with it, because I was a Good Boy. In fact, I was the Best Little Boy In The World, but in my secret soul I knew very well that I was smarter than some of my teachers, and I was not the only one. Still, I learned. God gave me the grace to be able to go beyond the teachers, and beyond the books.
As provincial as my boyhood schools were, today's schools are not nearly as good. Students today are not being taught; they are being herded and tended. Many of today's teachers are unbelievably ignorant, which is the fault of THEIR teachers, and I'll tell you why.
About thirty years ago, teachers decided to fix what wasn't broken. Specifically, THEY CHANGED THE WAY CHILDREN ARE TAUGHT TO READ. With the support of unions and the tacit approval of parents who don't know that they shouldn't be worshipful of anyone with a Ph.D. or an Ed.D., teaching methods and curricula were changed for no good reason. I almost said, like Forrest Gump, "for no particular reason." The results of those changes are what you are complaining about, today. Your children are not learning as much or as well, BECAUSE THEY CAN'T READ AND WRITE at an acceptable level, and neither can their teachers.
That fact is sad enough, by itself, but here's something even sadder: many parents don't know it, don't believe it, or don't care. So what is the solution to this huge problem? Well, let's throw money at it, the politicians say. Let's build bigger, plusher schools, let's buy tons of computers, and let's pay the teachers more money. Donny believes that those are actually good things to do, but when day is done, the students still won't be able to read or write. Like doctors and police departments, school administrators and politicians believe that we need to attack SYMPTOMS. Donny believes that we need to get at the CAUSES, and practice a little PREVENTION.
Children have no business going to school before they are six years old. Let's face it, we start them at that age or sooner because we want them out of our hair. There is NO GOOD REASON for children to attend school
before they are six, or even seven. And when they DO go, there is nothing more important than their FIRST THREE YEARS, when they are taught the basics of learning, #1 of which is READING.
That's my opinion, and it's very true. If you want another opinion, which is always advisable, click here: Summerhill School: New View of Childhood to buy this wonderful book by A. S. Neill...$11.65 new or $9.75 used. Donny STRONGLY RECOMMENDS this book.
BACK TO INDEX
BLACKBERRY
- another Asian-American
There are hundreds of varieties of Blackberries, Rubus fruticosus, R. villosus, R. laciniatus, R. occidentalis, R. ulmfolius, related species, all delicious and high in insoluble Fiber, Pectin, Vitamin C and Potassium. Blackberry bushes, like their first cousins Raspberry bushes, are also known as Brambles.
I've been told that Blackberries originated in Asia, and I find that very upsetting. Is nothing sacred? What next, hot dogs don't come from Coney Island? A chicken ain't a bird? God did not make little green apples? Where will it all end?
Blackberry Root Tea is an excellent astringent treatment for diarrhea or dysentery.
Steep about two tablespoons of dried, crushed Blackberry Leaves in a pint of hot water for a half hour, and you'll get a delicious tea which is also good for your Liver and for blood impurities (also treats sore throats and controls diarrhea).
Dewberries, R. caesius, are very similar to Blackberries but ripen earlier and are both juicier and more plump. Some of my most joyful times in Mississippi have been spent fishing in ponds whose banks host Blackberries and Dewberries. A few people will know the area I'm describing when I mention Aunt Pearl and Uncle Toby's Old Home Place; I thank my cousins for letting me roam freely there.
Dr. Herbert Langford, a professor at the University of Mississippi, has recommemded Blackberries and other berries for better blood pressure, because they represent an intake of Potassium with no Sodium, which may balance the Sodium you already have ingested from nearly everything else you eat.
BACK TO INDEX
BLACK WALNUT
- Did Native Americans get jock itch? Breech-clout itch?
This North American tree (Juglans nigra), related to the English Walnut, has dark brown wood and delicious nuts which are used especially in confections.
Black Walnut Leaf Tea is highly astringent; too much will irritate your stomach. Its antibiotic properties will treat fungal problems.
Walnut Bark contains organic iodine, manganese, pangamic acid (also called Vitamin B15) and tannins; it has been used as an analgesic. It is also anthelmintic, antifungal, antiseptic, astringent and laxative (but how do it know?). Internally, Black Walnut Bark Tea is good for constipation, chancre sores and intestinal parasites (roundworms, pinworms, tapeworms). It has been used topically for acne, athlete's foot, bruises, eczema, fever blisters, fungal infections, herpes, jock itch, psoriasis, ringworm, skin rashes and warts. Some herbalists have recommended Black Walnut as an oral medication for mouth and throat sores and to restore tooth enamel.
Is it possible that Black Walnut can fight cancer?
Black Walnuts are very high in Vitamin A, higher in Protein and Iron than English Walnuts (which are actually native to Persia), and lower in Fat. You will pay a hefty price for them, but not in money (as you will virtually never see any shelled Black Walnuts for sale). The high price you will pay is in labor and cleanup, from gathering and cracking your own. They are extremely difficult to crack, and even then the delicious nutmeat is still difficult to extract from the cracked shell. When your chore is finished, everything will be stained brown, especially your hands. The extremely long-lasting stain indicates the presence of organic iodine, which is antiseptic and a healer of skin irritations.
WARNING: DON'T PLANT ANYTHING THAT YOU WANT TO KEEP, UNDER A BLACK WALNUT TREE. Virtually NOTHING will grow under Black Walnut trees. Don't gather topsoil from underneath these trees, as nothing will grow in it. My sister Jan will testify to this fact. It was Native Americans who first noticed this and deduced that the bark would also kill fungal skin infections.
An extract of Black Walnut can be taken orally by mixing 10 to 20 drops in water or juice, daily. It can be used externally by rubbing the extract directly on the skin twice daily.
CAUTION: BLACK WALNUT TINCTURES AND CAPSULES ARE AVAILABLE AT YOUR HEALTH-FOOD STORE, BUT YOU ARE ADVISED OF THE POSSIBLE TOXICITY OF EXCESSIVE DOSAGES. BE CAUTIOUS.
BACK TO INDEX
CHERRY
- a welcome sight on the dollar slots
Prunus avium, P. cerasus, P. serotina (Black Cherry); Cherry is a temperate, flowering tree with edible fruits which may be yellow, red, or blackish. Cherries were used as medicine by the ancient Greeks. Many people eat Cherries or drink Cherry Juice for gout; Cherries are known to prevent cavities.
Decocted Cherry Bark makes an expectorant tonic, good for chronic or wintertime bronchial conditions.
Depictions of Cherries can lift your spirits when they appear on the first two reels of the dollar slot machine you are playing.
High in Vitamin A, fresh Cherries should not be washed until you're ready to eat them; they will keep for up to two weeks in your refrigerator. See Black Cherry.
BLACK CHERRY
- Got gout?
Prunus serotina; twigs and foliage are poisonous. Black Cherry Juice has gained a modern reputation as a reliever of gout. What is gout, you ask? Gout is caused by too much uric acid in the blood and deposits of urate crystals in the joints. It is mostly a disease of men, and it is usually restricted to arthritic inflammation of the hands or feet, especially the big toe. Don't ask; I don't know why.
The FDA is not convinced that Black Cherry Juice is gout medicine, but many people will tell you that it is. Of course, it doesn't work for everyone, but what does? OK, sex; but what else?
Black Cherry Juice also prevents cavities, and there IS scientific evidence of that.
BACK TO INDEX
DULSE
- "Donny! This stuff is Algae?! From a dirty, nasty beach?! My Word, you are losing it!" ~my niece, the gourmand
This edible red alga, Palmaria palmata, grows on rocky shores of the North Atlantic and Northwest Pacific. Commonly used in Ireland and Canada both as food and as medicine, it is exported throughout the world. Dulse is found in many health food stores and can be ordered directly from several local distributors (see Mail-Order/Internet Suppliers).
Dulse fronds vary in color from rose to reddish-purple and are about a foot long. They are harvested by hand from June to about September, brought to drying fields, and put through a shaker to remove grit and debris. The fronds are spread thinly on netting and left to dry, turned once, then rolled into large bales to be packaged or ground, later.
Sun-dried Dulse is eaten as is, or ground into flakes or a powder. It can also be pan-fried quickly into tasty chips (garlic butter optional), oven-baked and covered with cheese and salsa, or microwaved briefly for a crispy treat. It can be used in soups, chowders, sandwiches and salads, or added to bread/pizza dough. Fresh Dulse can even be eaten directly off the rocks before sun-drying. One variety of Dulse is cultivated in Nova Scotia and marketed as Sea Parsley, sold fresh in the produce section. See Nova Scotia Dulse.
Dulse is an excellent source of Vitamins and Minerals. As little as "a handful" will provide more than 100% of the published RDI of Vitamin B6, 66% of Vitamin B12, a "day's supply" of Iron and Fluoride, a goodly supply of Potassium, and relatively little Sodium. See Seaweed.
BACK TO INDEX
KOMBU
- The Japanese are GENIUSES at making yucky food look good.
Several species of Laminaria Kelp are called Kombu. They are all very high in Calcium, Iodine, Potassium, Sugar, and Vitamins A and C. Kombu also contains B-Vitamins, Glutamic Acid, Starch, and Trace Minerals. See Kelp. See Seaweed.
You will see Kombu spelled "Konbu" in some places; both spellings are "correct," as this is a Japanese word (don't spell it "Coamnboo"...that would be going too far to prove a point).
KOMBUCHA MUSHROOM
- Donny says "No, thank you."
Not a mushroom and having absolutely no relationship to Kombu, Kombucha (Fungus japonicus) is a fungus, an antibiotic mixture of bacteria and yeasts which is added to sugared tea and left alone for a couple of weeks to brew like a bad barrel of Mississippi moonshine. Treasured by health faddists, it is reputed to boost the immune system, lower blood pressure, prevent hair loss, return grey hair to its natural color, help combat HIV, and a host of other claims. It has been used in China for centuries, by Chinese people who know what they're doing. Now in America, especially on the West Coast, it is an alternative-medicine, counter-culture rage, and it can kill you. Easily contaminated, Kombucha has been suspected of causing several deaths. Not one shred of evidence has been presented in support of this substance's reputation as a cure-all, but, you know...some people would eat SNOT if you put a little parsley around it and told them it was health food. This is medicine for the truly far-out.
BACK TO INDEX
LEMON BALM
- Lemon Balm Oil is expensive. Caveat emptor: if the label doesn't say "100% Lemon Balm Oil," it probably isn't.
pic courtesy gardenguides.com
Melissa officinalis is a rapidly-spreading, bushy, perennial herb of the Mint Family, native to the Mediterranean. It was used medicinally by Greek physicians thousands of years ago and was a sacred plant in the temples of Diana. Paracelcus used Balm for "rejuvenation."
Grown these days for its white flowers and Lemon-scented leaves (bees love it), it is used as a seasoning, a flavoring for liqueurs, or for medicinal tea. Lemon Balm is sometimes erroneously called Bee Balm; Bee Balm is Monarda didyma.
A cup of Lemon Balm Tea will put you to sleep quicker than a Danielle Steele novel. Lemon Balm and Lemon Balm Oil have been used for centuries to relieve anxiety, allergies, depression, eczema, headaches, heart palpitations, insomnia, itching, menstrual cramps, nervousness, nightmares and shingles. Common in many flower and herb gardens, a Lemon Balm plant grows to a height of about two feet or a little less.
Crush Lemon Balm leaves and rub them directly on wasp stings to bring nearly instant relief.
Lemon Balm is mildly carminative, sedative, and sudorific. Lemon Balm Extract is antiviral, and its fragrant leaves are used in iced drinks, hot tea, sachets, floral bouquets and potpourris. It was used in Colonial American times for "meloncholia."
Lemon Balm is approved as an over-the-counter drug in Canada, France, Germany and the United Kingdom. Important medicinal components of Lemon Balm Oil include Citral, Citronellal, and Geraniol. It should be diluted with a base oil if you are using it topically. Lemon Balm Oil is expensive, because huge amounts of the plants are required to produce relatively small amounts of the oil. You should beware of cheap products, which may be Lemon Oil or Lemongrass, not Lemon Balm at all. Be sure the label says "100% Lemon-Balm Oil."
CAUTION: DO NOT USE LEMON BALM IF YOU ARE BEING TREATED FOR HYPOTHYROIDISM OR HYPERTHYROIDISM, ESPECIALLY GRAVES' DISEASE.
BACK TO INDEX
MESCALINE (Peyote)
- **BEING IN POSSESSION OF MESCALINE IS ILLEGAL!**
An alkaloid obtained from Peyote Buttons, Mescaline produces powerful hallucinations. See Peyote.
Mescaline is a natural psychedelic alkaloid found in several cactus species, especially the extremely slow-growing Peyote cactus (Lophophora williamsii) and the much faster-growing San Pedro cactus (Trichocereus pachanoi). There are other Trichocereus cacti which also contain Mescaline.
Whereas many of the known psychedelics are indoles (DMT, LSD, psilocybin), Mescaline is a phenethylamine. The popular "designer" psychedelic Ecstasy (MDMA) is also a phenethylamine.
Peyote and San Pedro are native to the New World. Peyote has been used by Indigenous
Peoples throughout Mexico since at least 500 BCE, and San Pedro was used by Andean peoples at least as early as 1300 BCE. Peyote use by northern North American Indigenous People tribes began in the 1800's.
With the conquest of Central and South America by Spaniards, the Roman Catholic Church attempted to abolish the use of Peyote, mushrooms, San Pedro, and all other "native" customs. Nonethless, Peyote use spread from Mexico to North America, and the Native American Church was formed in 1918 to preserve Native Americans' right to use it. In the case of San Pedro, South American shamans incorporated Christian symbols into their rituals, including the adoption of a Christian saint for its name.
In 1896, Mescaline became the first psychedelic compound to be extracted and isolated; it was synthesized in 1919. It remained an obscure compound known primarily to the psychiatric community until 1953, when Aldous Huxley read about it, tried it, and subsequently wrote
Doors of Perception and Heaven and Hell : 2 Complete Books in Which Aldous Huxley Explores the Mind's Remote Frontiers and the Unmapped Areas of Human Consciousness (clicking here will take you directly to this book at Barnes & Noble, $11.25).
Some, but not many, Mexican "Indians" still participate in Peyote rituals,
seeking alliance with Mescalito, the spectral personification of Peyote (see early writings of the social anthropologist Carlos Castaneda, including
The Teachings of Don Juan: A Yaqui Way of Knowledge from Barnes & Noble, $6.29). Some, but not many, South American shamans continue traditional San Pedro ceremonies. Solanaceous plants containing Belladonna alkaloids are included in the South American San Pedro brew, enabling the user to "travel across time and space" (read early works by William Burroughs and Alan Ginsberg).
Donny also recommends: the movie
Emerald Forest (Barnes & Noble, $12.99);
At Play In The Fields Of The Lord (the movie), Barnes & Noble, $16.99;
At Play in the Fields of the Lord by Peter Matthiessen (paperback), Barnes & Noble, $11.70 new, $9.75 used;
At Play in the Fields of the Lord (hardcover), Barnes & Noble, $25.75.
Peyote has been over-harvested and has become relatively rare. Pure, synthetic mescaline is rarer, still. Read The Peyote Story by Bernard Roseman (Wilshire Book Co., 1963, currently out-of-print).
WARNING: MESCALINE IS A POWERFUL PSYCHEDELIC ALKALOID WHICH NEVER SHOULD BE TAKEN UNACCOMPANIED, IN A HOSTILE ENVIRONMENT, OR "JUST FOR KICKS." IF YOU PURCHASE MESCALINE ON THE STREET YOU MAY BE POISONING YOURSELF. MESCALINE IS A CONTROLLED SUBSTANCE, ILLEGAL TO POSSESS, UNLESS YOU ARE A MEMBER OF THE NATIVE AMERICAN CHURCH.
Source Reference: http://www.peyote.com/
BACK TO INDEX
NORI (Laver, Porphyra)
- Yes, it DOES look like paper.
These paper-thin sheets of pressed Sea Vegetable (from marine algae) are usually used for Japanese sushi. They are also rolled around rice (see pic), used as a garnish, crumbled into soups and salads, sauteed with vegetables, and sometimes baked into bread. Nori is rich in protein, calcium, vitamins, iron and other minerals. It is anti-bacterial and anti-coagulant, and is known to fight ulcers.
BACK TO INDEX
PEACHES
- In Turkey, a Georgia Peach could be a bastard from Tbilisi.*
Prunus persica; a small fruit tree of Chinese origin; several varieties are widely cultivated as highly successful commercial crops. Eat A Peach!
Peach Leaf Tea has much medicinal value, a fact unknown to me, regrettably, when my family had an entire orchard of Peach trees (but hey, I was only nine at the time). It is used for coughs, nausea, as a Kidney tonic, and to purge roundworms. Both the fruit and the Leaf Tea will treat constipation, I ga-ron-TEE.
Peaches contain Vitamins A and C, Calcium, Fiber, Potassium, and very little Sodium or Fat. Canned Peaches have much less Fiber than fresh ones, but they are still good food (avoid syrup-packed Peaches).
If you should ever visit Turkey and buy Peaches in a bazaar, call them by their Turkish name, Sheftallah. In Turkish, "Piç" (pronounced "peach") means Bastard. I learned this the hard way: "Give me some of those (bastards)," I told a vendor in Ankara, in 1965. He made no move, but his eyes got bigger.
"(Bastard! Bastard!) I want some of those (Bastards)!" I said a little louder, as if he were hard of hearing. Luckily, there were some bilingual Turkish students nearby who helped out the Ugly American.
You can find outrageously wonderful recipes utilizing Peaches in any number of cookbooks. Refer to the Bibliography to find my favorites. I also recommend local, community cookbooks which have been charity projects, because people whom you know will be showing off their best stuff in these. See Recipes.
Southern folklore for getting rid of warts includes this one: prick the wart; smear the blood with a bruised Peach Leaf; then tape the leaf to the wart. I'm positive this works, as does every wart remedy you have ever heard. Warts will eventually go away by themselves, regardless.
My nephew Ricky, however, says that he has a wart which he has had for 28 years. "Get me a Peach Leaf," I told him.
"It's January, Idiot!" he pointed out.
I am not an idiot, but it really was January when he said that. All my family are similarly expressive.
CAUTION: PEACH PITS ARE TOXIC.
*
Tbilisi, or Tblisi, is the capital of The (formerly Soviet) Republic of Georgia, directly
north of Turkey. The President is native Georgian and former Soviet Foreign Minister Eduard Shevardnadze.
Many Georgians are descended from Ottoman Empire Turks and speak Turkish, as well as Georgian (also Russian). Stalin was from Georgia and did not grow up speaking Russian (he never spoke it well).
Tblisi television was lousy in 1965, except for their old Russian movies and network feeds from Kiev, in the Ukraine (don't know if they do that anymore, since the dissolution of the USSR). The national language of Ukraine, by the way, is Ukrainian (Russian is also spoken there). There were over 360 languages spoken in the former Soviet Union.
Don't ask me why I know all these things (it's a secret). I should be on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, but NOOOOO! Regis won't call me!
BACK TO INDEX
VIAGRA® (Sildenafil Citrate)
- Ask Bob Dole, former Republican Presidential candidate and expert on Erectile Dysfunction.
This is a "food supplement" heavily touted as causing and maintaining penile erections (what other kinds of erections are there? NEVER MIND; it just came to me), and an inordinate desire to do The Nasty.
It is Not For Use By Teenagers, whom I despise for their ability to do as a no-brainer, what I have to really work at. Teenage boys have erections all day long that they don't even know what to do with (well, they know a couple of things), and all day long I WISH I had an erection that I would certainly know exactly what to do with. I woke up with a Raging Bull Boner a couple of days ago, and as I headed for the bathroom, Jonnie saw me and screamed, "DON'T TOUCH THAT! IT'S MINE!"
Recently my wife has been watching more TV, because I am spending so much time writing this book. Every day, there is at least one Viagra commercial, and every day at least once, Jonnie asks, "What IS Viagra?" Are these hints?
WARNING: DO NOT TAKE VIAGRA IF YOU ARE TAKING A NITRATE ANGINA MEDICATION. NITRATES AUGMENTED BY VIAGRA WILL CAUSE YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE TO PLUMMET. VIAGRA HAS BEEN UNDER SUSPICION IN SEVERAL DEATHS BY HEART ATTACK.
•*•*•*•*•*•*• The above was written many months ago. Some time later, I called in to Sunday Rounds on National Public Radio; this particular episode featured a call-in question/answer session re Viagra. I identified myself, but I felt no need to divulge that I was writing a book on supplements. I asked that week's starring doctor if Viagra had caused any deaths.
Playing for time and getting his ducks all in a row, he first complimented me by saying that this was "an excellent question." Then he explained, in a roundabout way, that the patients who had died while undergoing Viagra therapy had actually died from something else.
If I got what he was saying, it was this: Viagra can cause you to be able to have sex, and to want to have sex. However, if you have been sexually dysfunctional for a long time and also have a heart condition, THE EXERTION OF SEX can kill you.
I'm a very smart guy, but sometimes I'm not smart fast enough. Now that it's too late to ask, I have three more questions. What I want to know now is, (1) Were these guys warned ahead of time that, for them, a sex wish was also a death wish? (2) If so, what was the point of giving them Viagra? (3) In a case like this, would a prescription for Viagra qualify the doctor for membership in the Jack Kevorkian Assisted Suicide Club?
Maybe those guys borrowed a friend's Viagra or obtained some via the internet...workable but ill-advised ideas, for older men with weak hearts. For some men, I am told, inability to perform sexually constitutes the end of their manhood; hence, the mad scramble for this drug. To tell you the truth: I DON'T GET IT!
By the way, Bill Maher informs me that Medicaid will not pay for Viagra. I really can't understand that, considering that Medicaid paid for my Aunt's Demerol and other downers for many years, until she died of an overdose. I guess Medicaid has a secret value system for judging the legitimacy of the METHOD a person chooses, to kill himself. Something like this: Stoned Zombie Junkie Death, cool; Screwing Yourself To Death, uncool. Whatever. I'm so sick of Democrats and bureaucrats I could just puke.
ADDENDUM: Over the years in any marriage, sexual desire for one's spouse, if not altogether, wanes. Many men will disagree with me on that, and I will understand their denials. My empathy, however, will not change the very high probability that they are either IN denial, or they are full of shit, for one reason or another. Love or Guilt notwithstanding, facks is facks, Jack.
If the marriage is based on Love, there may be an increase in cuddling, hand-holding, hugging, kissing, talking and so on, and a decrease of varying degrees in actual sexual intercourse. Nearly all long-standing relationships become more cerebral, and somewhat less physical. If the marriage was based only on youthful Lust or if the psychosexual development of one of the partners was arrested in adolescence (a problem more common with men), they may begin to fight and to seek sex or at least desire it, elsewhere.
Some men interpret decreased sexual activity as an inevitable general downswing in libido concomitant with aging. That's not necessarily so, even though a chart of your sexual activity might remind you of a drooping penis (or this week's losses on the Dow).
Donny informs you that the phenomenon is much more complex than that. On the high-activity, perpetually erect side, it has something to do with the very strong natural drives of all young animals to produce offspring (human use of contraceptives notwithstanding). On the low-activity, or drooping side, it has something to do with maturity and aging. As I said, this is very complex, and relationships are as diverse as are individuals.
When sex between older couples becomes less-frequent or infrequent, some monogamous men, on an unconscious level, lower their own libido. Taking Viagra® will not increase your sexual desire FOR YOUR MATE, regardless of its claims. It may, however, get you divorced.
BACK TO INDEX
WAKAME
- Wok a misó Hindi Barzoom avé brougham.
Wakame is the Japanese name for this brown seaweed, Undaria pinnatifida, native to Chinese, Korean and Japanese coasts. It is used extensively in Asian cuisine, in salads, soups and stews, and as a condiment. In addition to its value as an antioxidant-rich food, it is also a rich source of Calcium, Fiber, Iron, Magnesium and Potassium. Wakame contains an anticoagulant constituent and is therefore heart-friendly.
Dried Wakame (as Viva-Natural, a popular Japanese health food product) has been found to prevent and cure lung cancer in laboratory mice tested at the University of Hawaii, by boosting their immune system. So if any of your mice are smokers, now you know what to do.
OpinionSoup is published by Don Harthcock. OS#13 ©December, 2000, Don Harthcock & Brian McLeod. Reproduction of any part of this copyrighted publication for commercial purposes is prohibited. Taping to refrigerators, posting on bulletin boards & emailing to friends is cool.
BACK TO TOP | BACK TO INDEX | BACK TO HOMEPAGE | Previous Issue | Next Issue
