It Could Be Anything!
OpinionSoup may contain language and topics unsuitable for children.
"There is no way to happiness; happiness is the way." ~Thich Nhat Hanh
IN THIS ISSUE:
COCA, COCAINE, & THE WAR ON DRUGS - Personal from Donny
APPLES lower fever, kill viruses and clear debris from your teeth (chew on that).
CARROTS contain Cox-2 Inhibitors.
DAIKON - giant Winter radish
DANDELION - Bane of lawn freaks, Dandelions are food and medicine!
FLUORIDE - fights tooth decay, and makes you very sick
HAPPINESS is a pair of $130 sneakers.
OREGANO - Now THAT's Italian.
SPICES - Got herbs in your spice rack?
WHATEVER-THERE-IS SOUP/STEW - Donny's Special Dish
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The Food and Drug Administration has not evaluated any of the statements made in this publication, nor is that likely ever to happen. This publication is not meant to be used to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. Since this publication is not intended to be diagnostic or prescriptive, the authors assume no responsibility for any adverse reactions resulting from the use of any information contained in it.
personal from donny
COCA, COCAINE, & THE WAR ON DRUGS
Coca Tea Ad image courtesy erowid.org
Erythroxylum coca is an evergreen shrub or small tree native to the Andes. Using Coca Leaf as a stimulant, as well as foraging and trading in Coca Leaves, have been common practices of people native to these high altitudes for centuries. The Spanish word "coca" derives from the Quechua kuka.
Two commonly-held and incorrect beliefs concerning the primitive use of Coca are (1) that it is a masticatory, and (2) that its use began with the Incas. In fact, Coca leaves are not chewed; a quid of the leaves pasted together with ground seashells or rocks (for lime) or alkaline Quinoa ashes is pouched in the cheek, and the now-alkaline saliva helps release the cocaine and trickle it down the user's throat. Concerning Inca legends of Coca belonging to them: well, they made it up. Coca use preceded the Incas by many, many years.
One of the great societal misfortunes of pharmaceutical science was the isolation and subsequent widespread manufacture of the Coca alkaloid Cocaine. Cocaine was formerly used judiciously as a local anesthetic but in that sense has been largely replaced by other, synthetic -caines, known for their ability to migrate quickly through tissue and bone, and for being less subject to abuse.
Cocaine is a Controlled Substance. The illegal manufacture, distribution and unwise use, and the economic impact of this dangerous, powerful stimulant, have all exerted profound negative influences upon Western society. The United States, representing less than 10% of the world's population, consumes at least 60% of the world's cocaine.
Coca-Cola® was originally a medicinal tonic which contained Cocaine and
Cola Nut; in its infancy it was advertised as a "brain tonic." The advertisements for all of today's so-called "refreshing beverages" hark back to those days, in fact, and Donny is sure that originally they must have just refreshed the hell out of everybody. Many other tonics and patent medicines of that era also contained Cocaine, as well as powerful opiates; and, of course, alcohol...a mainstay of the industry.
So, you see, we do need a Food & Drug Administration to protect the public, don't we? The thing about it is, we don't need the one we've got.
Sigmund Freud was particularly fond of Cocaine, by the way, which possibly accounts for some of his idiotic conclusions. I despise Freudian psychology, but I must say that at some point Ziggy was probably a good and brilliant man, well-intentioned. Donny supposes that he may have become delusional from his early popularity (and Cocaine use), concluding, as do many doctors of today, that he actually knew what he was talking about.
As the absurd, hypocritical and totally political War On Drugs continues to suck hundreds of millions of dollars out of the national treasury, keep in mind that our country has a long history of drug use, drug abuse, and manipulation of the drug trade. We have actively but quietly supported drug-trafficking in other countries when it suited us to do so, particularly in Southeast Asia, Central and South America. The CIA's Air America was at one time one of the most active heroin smuggling operations in Asia, as certain provincial warlords' asses had to be kissed.
Talking out of the other side of our National Mouth, we have also loudly condemned this nefarious activity when that suited us more. The War On Drugs serves two unadvertised purposes: (1) getting votes from religious conservatives and ignorant provincials, many of whom are sweet and trusting people, naive good citizens who have NO IDEA how they are being manipulated by politicians; and (2) establishing a military presence under false pretenses. The rest is bullshit, although occasionally we do manage to shoot down a couple of missionaries.
No Senators, no prohibitive amendments to the Constitution, no DEA, no FDA, no legislation of any kind, no Task Force, no threats of incarceration, no egg-in-a-frying-pan TV spots, no misinformation, and no heavily-armed buckaroos in helicopters are ever going to stop people from using and trafficking in drugs. We have, however, created some dandy bureaucracies that pay people high salaries to perform ridiculous tasks, which is one area where America truly excels.
And, of course, the War On Drugs is very good for business. The illegal drug business, that is. Prices, production and profits are higher than ever.
Stay away from Cocaine, my dears, and tell everyone you know and love to stay away from it. It will not ever do you any good; it will not make you cool or sophisticated or able to do anything better; it will not give you useful insights or energy. It can, however, screw up your life beyond your ability to imagine.
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APPLE
- "An Apple A Day" - corny, yet hip.
Apples (Pyrus malus, Malus pumila) are short on Vitamins and Minerals, but long on Other Good Stuff. They originated in Eurasia, but thanks to John Chapman (Johnny Appleseed) and others, they are now international. You can grow this fruit almost anywhere, but Washington is the champion Apple-growing state, producing more than half of our country's commercial crop. About twelve billion Apples a year come from Washington.
Most researchers and scholars now agree that the many Bible references to Apples, including the bedrock Garden of Eden myth, should have been translated as Apricots. Does it make any difference that Adam, as the story went, may have been offered an Apricot instead of an Apple? Certainly not; this story was never intended to describe an actual event. It was a parable written and presented to the people during the reign of King Solomon (about 1000 BCE), to teach them about the results of transgressing set boundaries.
Nitpicking scholars do not attack the intention of these ancient teaching stories, but King David probably said "Bring me Apricots," instead of "Bring me Apples." The King James Bible got many, many plant names wrong.
Apples are very high in soluble Fiber, regulating your blood sugar and lowering your cholesterol. They're also important to your diet for what they DON'T have, namely cholesterol, fat or sodium.
GRATED, RAW APPLES CAN LOWER YOUR CHILD'S FEVER, AND APPLE JUICE KILLS VIRUSES! In ancient Magick, Apples were used in love potions and to work spells against enemies.
Closer to reality, Apples help clear away food debris from your teeth, so Chew On That. Refrigerated Apples keep well, but room temperature is better. If you have an old-fashioned root cellar, of course that's where they need to be stored; they will last for months.
When you purchase unripe, imported fruit from your grocery store (avocados, bananas, mangos, etc.), put them in a paper bag along with an Apple. Apples emit a gas that hastens ripening of all fruit.
If you have carving skills, this will delight young children: carve a face into a smallish Apple, then leave it on your kitchen window sill to wither and shrink. Before very long, your happy face will transform itself into a scowling old hag.
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CARROT
- Standard Favorite of Health-Food Freaks
Considered by the ancient Greeks to be a powerful aphrodisiac, Daucus carota sativum is a biennial Eurasian native of the Parsley Family, cultivated worldwide for its edible taproot. Carrots are a very valuable source of the Vitamin-A precursor beta-carotene, and they also contain good amounts of potassium and soluble fiber. Raw Carrots will give you a modest amount of Vitamin C.
Fruit and vegetable snacks such as apple slices, grapes and Carrot sticks are better for your children than sweets, and you may be pleasantly surprised to see how readily children accept these alternatives to candy and other junk. Tell your kids that Carrots are good for their little bunny eyes. OK, it's corny.
Carrots are a good bet to help protect you from the worst cancers, that of the lungs and pancreas. Just one Carrot a day could protect you from lung cancer, even if you smoked cigarettes for years! Carrots also lower serum cholesterol and add bulk to your stool. They are good for constipation. Carrots contain Cox-2 Inhibitors.
Carrot Juice is a standard favorite of health-food freaks, and it really is wonderful for your Liver, especially when drunk on an empty stomach. Bear in mind, however (especially when going wild with your new juicer), that Carrot Juice is concentrated food. In other words, how many Carrots did it take to make that glass of juice you are drinking? Would you eat that many Carrots? And look at the fiber you're throwing away.
Carrots will keep for two or three weeks in your refrigerator; remember to remove the green tops.
FYI: the little "Baby Carrots" you see in the market and at salad bars are not Baby Carrots at all. They're just whittled down to baby size, and not as nutritious as unpeeled Carrots.
In herbal shampoos, Carrot Seed is said to be good for "normal" hair.
Queen Anne's Lace, a popular wildflower, is actually a Wild Carrot.
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DAIKON (Winter Radish)
- Have you been wondering what it was?
photos courtesy University of Florida
Raphanus sativus is a Japanese/Chinese white radish. Its long, large taproot is eaten raw, pickled or cooked. Daikon is also called Chinese Radish, Japanese Radish and Oriental Radish.
Because this vegetable likes to grow in very cool weather, it should be planted in the fall. Some Daikon is grown in the U.S., because it is a very popular vegetable in Oriental-American cuisine. Much more of it, however, comes from Hokkaido, the northernmost island of Japan. Give these babies space, because they commonly grow to ten or twenty pounds; some have been known to reach 100 pounds!
Daikon is antibacterial, antifungal, decongestant and diuretic. It contains digestive enzymes and is a cancer fighter.
Wash and grate unpeeled, raw Daikon. For cooking, use it as you would
use a carrot.
For some reason I am picturing a giant, irradiated Radish Monster named Daikon, stamping down the street bent on destroying all humans.
"It's Daikon!" a terrified citizen screams.
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DANDELION (Dent de Lioun, Lion's Tooth)
- "I HATE Dandelions." ~TV ad for Lawn Chemicals
A perennial Eurasian plant, Taraxacum officinale is now naturalized throughout America, including my front and back yards and the vacant lot of the old Hasty Tasty on the corner. A very common and hardy weed, self-seeding profusely, this is an herb that early Colonists introduced to the Native Americans (quite a switch, considering the Indians' far-superior knowledge of herbalism and medicine in general). Ayurvedic, Chinese and European herbalists have known for centuries that both the root and the leaves of Dandelion are powerful healing medicine.
Dandelion Greens are excellent, nutritious food in salads or as a vegetable dish (use young leaves, before the plant blooms; older leaves will be bitter). They may be used alone or with other greens. As medicine, they are famed as a spring detoxifier of the liver, kidneys, blood and tissues, and to prevent urinary tract infections. An infusion of leaves and flowers (fresh or dried) makes a calming tonic tea.
Sap from Dandelion stems will remove warts. Antiviral Dandelion has been
used effectively against herpes, and this noxious little weed is being researched as an AIDS medicine.
Dandelion flowers, besides their fame for making wine, are edible garnishes (also excellent deep-fried).
Dandelion roots are also a medicinal part of this plant; they are very diuretic, superior to synthetic diuretics, as Dandelion does not flush Minerals. They are also laxative, as well as being extremely good for your liver. Dandelion has been used to treat acne, cirrhosis, edema, gout, jaundice and psoriasis. It is an excellent treatment for chronic hepatitis, and the root also contains Inulin, which can lower the blood sugar of diabetics.
Dandelion Root was used by early settlers for snakebite, but if a venomous snake shoud bite me, I'd go to a doctor...in haste, but not in a hurry...the Methodist way.
By enhancing bile flow from the liver, Dandelion Root helps support proper digestion and absorption of Vitamins. This little weed also promotes health in your gallbladder, kidneys, pancreas and spleen. Dandelion contains high levels of essential Potassium; also Vitamins A, B, C & D, Calcium, Iron, Magnesium, Silicon and Sodium.
Dandelion is listed as an over-the-counter drug in Canada, France, Germany and the United Kingdom.
If you're lucky you might find someone who still knows how to make Dandelion Wine, but not in Yazoo City. In spite of centuries of use both as food and as medicine, one of my nephews said "You can EAT 'em? And they're MEDICINE? I don't think so."
Read Dandelion Wine, by Ray Bradbury (not an herb book).
Another nephew said, "Damn, Donny; you're a whole lot crazier since you been writin' that book."
Both these young men dine almost exclusively on cheeseburgers, milk and beer, and neither of them has ever been sick (go figure).
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FLUORIDE
- "We must protect our precious bodily fluids." ~from Dr. Strangelove
The furor of disagreement continues over Fluoride. The two opposing teams are: (1) Fluoride is important for strengthening bones and TEETH, and (2) Fluoridated water is dangerously unsafe and may give you CANCER.
Donny, who is not a scientist but merely a writer and humorist, personally believes that there is some scientific proof for the claim that Fluoride makes stronger bones and teeth, but it DOESN'T TAKE VERY MUCH; you probably don't have to supplement your toothpaste, and especially not your water supply, to get what you need of it. Fluoridated water MAY ACTUALLY lead to osteoporosis or even cancer, and the act of adding it to your water supply can be construed as medicating the public without their permission. There certainly is ample documentation that Fluoridated water makes some people very sick.
I recommend buying bottled water if you have any doubts about your local Fluoridated water supply, and bottled-in-glass is better than bottled-in-plastic. Besides, water from the tap is like hot dogs; you don't really know what-all is in there. Have you SEEN some of these people who are responsible for bringing water to entire cities?
AND, I well remember when, in 1968, the hippies of Chicago had intentions of putting LSD into the water supply, only to discover that Chlorine breaks down Lysergic Acid. Therefore, I drink bottled Mineral Water and Perrier, but I admit that I do use tap water also, to some extent.
By the way, the hippies COULD HAVE introduced LSD into Chicago's water supply, if they had decided to do that. After all, they did infiltrate the cab companies and drive some of the Democratic Convention delegates directly from O'Hare to Milwaukee.
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HAPPINESS
- depends upon who you are, inside
There is an old Chinese proverb that says, "If you plant a garden, you plant Happiness."
Happiness is an inner thing. Real Happiness, I mean. "Inner Peace" is not a trite thing to talk about; it's not just a hackneyed phrase. Inner Peace is the jewel in the lotus, and maybe that's a hackneyed phrase.
I tell you truly: things will not make you happy. I'm not saying that "things" are not delightful...oh, yes, they are that! Money, houses, cars,
electronic equipment, lovers, clothes, haute cuisine...these are all delightful things! I am no hypocrite, and I will never lie to you; I confess that even at my age, I am still hoping for "the big score."
If you are in the acquisitive phase of your life, hop to it! Go for it! But hear me: happiness does not depend upon what you have; rather, happiness depends upon what you are.
Did you read that too quickly? Have you heard it a thousand times already, you jaded, cynical pendejo?
Here it is again, then: HAPPINESS DEPENDS UPON WHO YOU ARE, INSIDE. This is another truism that is lost on our current crop of Future Leaders, who must have $130 sneakers or they will die. My great-nephew particularly cannot understand why I seem to be so happy; he knows I don't have diddly-squat.
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OREGANO (Wild Marjoram)
- unknown in the U.S. until we discovered pizza
Oregano is a perennial Eurasian herb (Origanum vulgare) of the Mint Family, with aromatic leaves used in seasoning tomato dishes, barbecue sauce, egg and cheese dishes, salad dressings, stuffings for meat and poultry, and seafood salads. Also for ground beef and pizza.
There are many varieties of Oregano, one common to Mexico (North American Oregano is an inferior species). In all varieties, both leaves and stems are used. It has been used since the early days of ancient Rome, but Oregano was practically unknown in the U.S. until after WWII. Pizza popularized this herb, a mainstay of Mediterranean cuisine. Photo (left) is of Greek Oregano.
Medicinally, Oregano is an expectorant and cough remedy; it also stimulates and aids digestion, and expels parasitic worms. Oregano is antiseptic (contains Thymol) and was probably used in ancient Egypt as part of the mixture used for mummification.
Oregano is an ingredient of some hair conditioners. It will make your bath more relaxing when you add a few drops of its Essential Oil to the water. It can prevent seasickness. If you are exhausted and irritable, an infusion of Oregano will Make It All Better.
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SPICES
- Tropical Treasure, not just for cookies, anymore
My niece said to me the other day, "Donny, according to your book I've got Herbs in my Spice rack. What's the difference in Herbs and Spices, anyway?"
People get confused regarding the difference between Herbs and Spices for any of several reasons. Firstly, many of us use the terms interchangeably, and our brains register "herbsandspices." That's too close. Secondly, our computer-brains may hear "Herbs AND Spices," which is too far apart. Thirdly, we hear differing usages from Cooks, Scientists, and Herbalists, although all of these generally agree that Herbs are temperate and Spices are tropical, with some overlapping in areas deemed "sub-tropical," like Florida.
COOKS SAY A. Herbs are the aromatic aerial parts of temperate plants, used in cooking and as medicine.
B. Spices are the aromatic dried bark, buds, flowers, fruit, roots and seeds of tropical plants such as Allspice, Cinnamon, Cloves, Ginger, Nutmeg and Peppercorns. Some Spices also have medicinal value.
SCIENTISTS SAY A. An Herb is any plant whose stem does not produce woody tissue, and which, generally, dies back at the end of the growing season. This definition applies, whether an Herb is known to have culinary and/or medicinal value to human beings, or not.
B. Spices are pungent, aromatic plant substances, usually of tropical origin, which are used to flavor foods or beverages. Some Spices also have medicinal value.
HERBALISTS SAY A. Many Herbalists ignore the strict botanical definition and think of Herbs as various plants or plant parts (including ferns, flowers, grasses, shrubs, trees, vines, weeds), often aromatic, used in medicine and as food and seasonings, by all cultures, throughout the centuries. Thinking more on the Herb's medicinal value, herbalists may further complicate the confusion by speaking of Whole Herbs or referring to bark, roots, stems, weeds and twigs as Herbs.
B. Spices are seasonings and flavoring botanicals, many of them also possessing extremely important medicinal value, which differ from Herbs only in their point of origin, the tropics. Spices come from trees and vines, as well as plants and shrubs, and may be derived from bark, buds, flowers, fruit, roots or seeds.
Don't buy a large amount of any one Spice unless you own a restaurant, because they deteriorate over time. For better flavor and longer shelf life, buy Whole Spices and a mortar & pestle.
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WHATEVER-THERE-IS SOUP/STEW
- and a short digression
Take all the leftovers in your refrigerator that seem to go together (make sure nothing is spoiled) and put them into a medium-large pot; cast-iron, if you have one. Add one large can of tomatoes, a can of water, some bran, some wheat germ, and one pre-cooked pork chop (optional). Be careful with herbs and spices, now; leftovers are probably spiced already. If it looks "weak," add something that swells up, like rice or macaroni. Cook and serve with a flourish, remembering to add beautiful garnishes.
Make this a one-dish meal, with Garlic bread. Can be vegetarian, or not. Do not mention the word "leftovers" to your spouse or children, especially if spouse or children are teenagers. If they ask you what it is, say something in French and point vaguely to a cookbook.
Speaking of stew, I was once in Japan, courtesy of the U.S. Air Force. Japan is a wonderful country (I was in Misawa, in Northern Honshu), and I steeped myself in its culture, even learning a smattering of the language at my off-duty second job as an English tutor. I learned to love Japanese beer, and I thought I was an expert on Japanese food until I found out (after about a year) that the restaurant I went to every weekend was Chinese.
Speaking of beer (and this is a segue into the stew part of the story), I frequently drank more than my share, as this is one thing that 22-year-olds are very good at. Culturally steeped or not, I was just a drunk GI the night that some of my buddies pulled the most disgusting stunt involving stew that I have ever seen.
We were roaming around the downtown GI beer-drinking area, and one of my friends, unbeknownst to me, had an opened can of Dinty Moore Beef Stew hidden in his jacket. In one of our favorite hangouts he pretended to throw up, right on the bar, and covertly dumped out the stew while making disgusting retching noises.
Of course, the bartender got furious, and he started covering it up with a newspaper, but another friend pushed his way up to the bar and started EATING it. The friend who was the perpetrator said "Hey, you're getting all the good stuff," and started eating it, also.
Pretty soon, about a dozen people (who thought it was all real) actually DID start throwing up, and bedlam ensued. We were thrown out and banned forever from the Dice Bar.
This became a very famous story, both on-base and throughout the machi.
It got funnier and more outrageous in the retelling, and eventually we were welcomed back to the Dice. Inevitably, there was a copycat incident at another bar, but the copycats were ridiculed. "Not funny, second time" the bartender said. Great street-theatre is a one-time deal.
OpinionSoup is published by Don Harthcock. OS#20 ©May, 2001, Don Harthcock & Brian McLeod. Reproduction of any part of this copyrighted publication for commercial purposes is prohibited. Taping to refrigerators, posting on bulletin boards & emailing to friends is cool.
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